Plastic Hearts &Paper Bags

Sunday, January 28, 2007

you know,

it's a funny place ,

this world.

if i were a Nazi,

someone would defend my

constitutional right to hate Jews .

if i were a Klansman,

someone would defend my right

to hate blacks .

it's a funny place,

this world.

hate has rights.

love has none .

i was just thinking,

i dont think there could be a God.

no God would make a world

where there are so many people

who's got no one to love them.

if it had been done to a plan ,

there would've been enough

people to love everybody .

there are loads of people who

aren't loved by anyone .

i'm talking about real love,

where people love you

regardless of what you are.

most of you haven't the slightest

idea what i'm talking about .

you've always been loved,

you always had people to love you .

you have no idea what

it's like to never be loved .

do you have an inkling of

what it's like?

do you know how it feels

to realize that there's

four billion people in the world

and not one of them

gives a shit about you.

so the way i see it,

there can't be a real God .

no God would make such a

loused up world

like this one.

i'm extremely sorry

if this post has offended any

Catholics/Christians .

vulnerable

Y

Friday, January 26, 2007

bye bye ij ,

bye bye netball

yeah,

quit netball.

so i gotta transfer school

to refresh your memory :

i DSA-ed into ijtp

through netball .

i really cannot take it anymore,

so yeah.

good bye to everything that i knew .

Now little Lisa is only 9 years old,

she's tryin to figure out why the world is so cold.

Why she's all alone and never met her family .

Mama's always gone &she never met her daddy.

Part of her is missin &nobody's listenin

Mama is on drugs gettin high up in the kitchen,

bringin home men at different hours of the night .

Startin with laughs,

usually ending in a fight.

Sneak into her room while her mamas knocked out,

tryin' to have his way &little Lisa says 'ouch' .

She tries to resist but then all he does is beat her .

Tries to tell her mom,

but her mama don't believe her .

Lisa is stuck up in the world on her own,

forced to think that hell is a place called home .

Nothing else to do but get some clothes &pack,

she says she's bout to runaway &never come back .

Little Nicole is only ten years old,

She's steady tryin to figure out why the world is so cold ,

why shes not pretty &nobody seems to like her,

alcoholic step dad always wanna strike her .

Yells &abuses,

leaves her with some bruises .

Teachers ask questions,

she making up excuses

bleeding on the inside,

cryin on the out.

there's only one girl who knows what she's all about .

Her name is lil stacy &they become friends,

promise that they'll be tight till the end .

Until one day lil stacy gets shot,

Now nicole's stuck up in the world on her own,

forced to think that hell is a place called home.

Nothin else to do but some get some clothes &pack,

She says she's about to run away &never come back.

Little Erica is eleven years old,

she's steady tryin to figure why the world is so cold .

So she pops x to get rid of all the pain,

cause shes havin sex with a boy who's sixteen .

Emotions run deep &she thinks she's in love,

so there's no protection he's usin no glove .

Never thinking about the consequences of her actions,

living for today and not tomorrow's satisfaction.

The days go by and her belly gets big ,

the father bails out,

he ain't ready for a kid .

Knowin' her mama will blow it all outta proportion,

plus she lives poor so no money for abortion.

Erica is stuck up in the world on her own,

forced to think hell is a place called home .

Nothin else to do but get her clothes and pack,

she say she's about to run away and never come back.

vulnerable

Y

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

i'm home today !

got really sick yesterday,

so i left school early .

waited in the general office for like,

AN HOUR

for my mom to pick me up.

abby walked past,

saw me,

and did the act cute ah lian peace pose.

haha then ranaway.

-.-

mommy brought me to

the doctor,

i hate hate hate clinics.

i just get this dirty

feeling whenever i step into a clinic .

so yeah,

doctor gave me two days mc.

i've been home the whole morning ,

talking to benedict c, suzanne, and steven

{suzanne &steven are sarah's friends

who are now my new friends !}

online .

SO BORING CAN,

oh and guess what .

ambra left school early,

CLAIMING she was unwell.

when she was actually bored,

cause' i wasnt there in school for her.

HAHAH

i hope fai and her have patched up

ambra, emo.

not how things are supposed to be.

I'M the emo one,

she's the happy goober.

vulnerable

Y

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

HELLOOOO WORLD

another super boring day in school .

had like home ec .

haa,

everyone knows i cant cook .

so i shan't go into details.

oh oh oh!

y'know we had english

today.

&like mr bernard chan is

so friggin funny.

he goes

"good morning girrrs"

he cant pronounce 'R's for nuts.

bra and i laughed till

we couldn't breathe .

soo yeah,

had house meeting today !

jocel, jaime, samtay &i joined CHEER

mmhmms,

didnt see evil today,

i thought she was in house comm

-.-

okay whatever.

changed blogskin,

fcking ugly can.

rahh !

I THINK IMMA CHANGE IT BACK

TO THE OLD ONE.

yeah,

okay i will.

now,

before anyone has a chance to see this one.

actually,

it's super nice.

just that that i cant

seem to get the fcking tagboard

colours right.

so it doesnt match.

AHH WHATEVER.

vulnerable

Y

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I'M SICK AGAIN

rahh

went to cut my hair,

after like

ONE AND A HALF MONTH.

my hair was absolutely,

disgustingly, freakishly

thick and fugly.

SO YEAH,

went for a haircut!

YAYYY :D

it's how i wanted it to be,

but the fringe is weird.

hmm

was supposed to go out

tonight.

but i feel like shit,

so yeah.

went to visit ahma

and have dinner there.

superly worried for her,

her condition is getting

really bad .

she might go anytime

-sighh

i just wish i could take

away her pain .

it kills me to see her like that.

vulnerable

Y

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

rahh

i feel like shit today

i think i'm coming down

with the flu

okay anyways,

i went towning with nads and minn

on saturday .

had superly alot of fun

stupid minn didnt know how

to use eyeliner

haha

then we were in the bathroom

and the silly girl banged her

head on the blow dryer thingy .

she's like so tall i have no

idea how that happened .

hahah

haven't seen them in over

a fcking yearrr.

nads is so pretty now (:

oh,
nattypoo didnt come to school
today.
she had cramps .
and brabra aint going tmr.
wtf
i think i'm just gonna pon tmr.
seriously dont feel like going
to school tmr.
after school,
went to macs with clare
to meet jared.
oh,
his friends were there too.
benedict and kyle and some other dude.
felt super duperly extra
:/
haha
oh dang,
tmr's class phototaking.
and i need a haircut,
badly.

vulnerable

Y

Friday, January 05, 2007

List Of Postbreakup Pick-Me-Ups

{it's been like 2 months}

1. a huge serving of Ben &Jerry's

Phish Food

2. a good cry

3. a whole pint of Ben &Jerry's

Chunky Monkey

4. watch any movie where a lying, cheating

guy gets it bad in the end

5. a whole gallon of Ben &Jerry's

Coffee Toffee Crunch

6. taking any momentos or gifts he gave you

&ripping, breaking, flushing, torching

or shooting them with a weapon

7. a truck full of Ben &Jerry's

Cherry Garcia

8. working to pass some sort of legislation

that banishes all men from this country

{except Ben &Jerry, they can stay}

i cannot cannot cannot believe this

I AM SO STUPID

i've got this amazingly caring,

sweet, cute guy .

but i refuse to get over the

lying, cheating bastard from like

4625265239 years ago.

wake up audrey !

-slaps myself

vulnerable

Y

Thursday, January 04, 2007

ahh

i'm sick ):

down with gastric flu,

&fever.

that's why i'm at home.

rahh,

i wanna go to school!

yes, i do.

i can't believe i just said that.

but yeah,

i miss all my friends .

and it's better than being stuck at home,

with stupid thoughts

running through my brain .

poop.

i just got back from the doc's,

&i cant get back to sleep.

oww,

stomach cramps !

gotta go .

vulnerable

Y

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

heyho !

so yeah,

i've moved.

i'm too lazy to find a new skin.

so i'm just recycling .

Open up my eyes,
flooded with daylight.
Another sleepless night,
turns color black &white.
With all the things I've said,
there is just regret
repeating in my head.
Hands into a fist,
static in my head .
Now I'm sitting face to face with loneliness.
What did I expect?
Did I see forever in you?
I never wanted it to hurt more than it should.
I hope you're satisfied,
I never could.
Time to close my eyes,
forget about this mess.
Tried to fix this tragic loss of innocence.
But how can I forget,
the things I haven't done.
When everything is dead?
Can't you see that you left me,
here on my own .
Give me one good reason
why I should let go.
With my hands around your neck,
who will stop me now?
I never wanted it to hurt more than it should.
I hope you're satisfied,
I never could .

here's my new year's resolution :

get over him.

i've wasted too many tears over you.

it's time for me to get a life .

yeah,

a real life .

fck you.

you always lied,

and i always knew.

but i never said a thing .

oh forget it.

&as for The Incident,

I think i'm one step closer

to recovery .

thank God

both daryls are back!

daryl ee &daryl lee my smexy daddy

one went to china,

the other went to south africa.

and ya'll just left me here alone !

{with chingala abby}

anyways,

i'm glad you two are back,

ya'll never fail to comfort me

with your rubbishing.

oh you too cheester abby,

i am not a chao ah lian.

you are.

vulnerable

Y